SIMPLISTIC LUNACY
I came to a beautiful conclusion this morning as I watched the sunrise from my window. My heart has been in a very strange place the past year or so. A battle has ensued with my mind and my heart and my soul just couldn’t choose a side. I went through the dynamics of asking for advice from the ones I hold the closest to me, along with people who are simply outsiders with no bias. As great as the advice was on both sides, I couldn’t find it in my heart to make a decision on how I could move forward from this conflict.
“Walk away, you can’t be friends…”
“You deserve better than that…”
“It’s never going to happen…”
“Just be patient, fight for love…”
“Fuck her, it’s her loss not yours…”
“If she’s worth it, she won’t be easy…”
How do you walk away from something that brings you happiness and pain at the same time? How do you measure which pain is worth enduring and which pain is just way too much to handle? When are things FINALLY going to make sense?
As these questions ran through my mind, I picked up my phone and opened my Twitter, in hopes of finding some kind of sign or answer. Oh how the Universe can answer when it feels the time is right. I opened my Twitter and a page I follow had posted a new quote:
“The reason it hurts so much to separate from certain people is because you are connected at the soul…”
Below it was the picture above…
Suddenly, that moment…that EPIPHANY I was longing to hit me like a ton of bricks finally did…So here it is, out in the open for me to say and for the world to see…
I truly believe that you and I are connected at the soul, and it will hurt me beyond compare to disconnect from you. I know my love for you is real because it’s unselfish and I thank you for allowing me to experience that. However in some cases, the reason we need to shelve that love is because a friendship is just way more important. And friendships can last forever, whereas a relationship can be destroyed.
I want forever…I feel you’re worth it.
I won’t ever give up on you no matter how hard the times get for either of us. Trust in that and we can have forever.
#closure…
What matters is, people need a monster they can believe in… A demon they can define themselves against. Otherwise, it’s just us versus us.
This quote popped up on my Twitter and I was brought back to a time in my life where I was extremely unhappy with myself. Seems like almost a lifetime ago, I was living another life. Not only was I internally unhappy with myself, the ugliness that was inside started to reflect my exterior. When you’re unhappy you let yourself go and you stop caring. Something was wrong, well maybe I shouldn’t say wrong, but something definitely wasn’t in line. These sudden mixture of up and down emotions blended into one big ugly state of confusion.
How do we deal when we get confused? Well, nobody wants to feel like they have no control or don’t understand, so initially that confusion grows to anger. But what I was angry about and who was I angry at?
The next thing I knew, I started to project my anger towards anyone who seemed happier or in a better place. Why were things going so well for EVERYONE around me? When was it going to be my turn to taste that happiness? What do they have going for them that I don’t? These people must have something against me. THEY are making my life miserable by being so happy. All these thoughts sound crazy right? Why is MY happiness everyone else’s problem?
DING DING DING!!! It’s MY problem.
So back to the quote listed above… ”What matters is, people need a monster they can believe in… A demon they can define themselves against. Otherwise, it’s just us versus us.”
Scary truth to it isn’t there? Do you ever notice that when we are going through moments of darkness, it’s so much easier to blame another source for your unhappiness instead of taking initial responsibility?
One of the hardest things about transitioning to adulthood is assuming responsibility for your actions and your life. At the end of the day, we make the decisions that bring us to where we are in life. Sure, we will cross people who will cause us to stray, but the decision is always ours (unless of course someone puts a gun to your head).
When I was unhappy with myself, I was angry at the fact that I was not satisfied with the decisions I had made that got me there. On top of it, I was battling who I was internally. I guess you can say, I wasn’t quite ready to assume responsibly for me and instead, projected those outcomes on those around me. I needed to find an enemy I could blame my mistakes on as my way of coping.
What is the cure to this? CHANGE. Who has the power to do that? YOU.
We all fear change. Nobody ever wants to go down the path of unfamiliar territory. The key to internal happiness is the willing to step up and change yourself for the better. But we have to change without losing sight of who we really are. We can’t change to please others because at the end of the day, those “OTHERS” aren’t the ones who make that life plan for you, nor do they suffer the consequences of your choices. If you are unhappy with a current situation, there are three ways to go about it:
1. Remove yourself from it.
2. Adapt and accept
3. Change your view on it and go forward
Today, I still continue to make mistakes and sometimes I may even make the same ones. Learning from them gets easier though because I’ve taken in the fact that I have to assume the responsibility and own it. Your mistakes do not define you unless you never learn from them.
So in conclusion, there is no evil demon out there to get you, nor is there some little dictator plotting your life’s unhappiness and demise. The only person or enemy we have to fix is the dark side of ourselves.
A good friend of mine posted this as her status today on Facebook. We actually had a brief chat about this quote sometime ago, as we frequently discuss the daily struggles of our past loves. Loves that have ended or have stayed unrequited. The one thing we always try to remind each other as we journey through heartaches and butterflies is rather than focusing on finding a better “NEXT” we should be bettering ourselves and becoming the ones we want to attract.
This quote says it all:
“If she’s amazing, she won’t be easy.
If she’s easy, she won’t be amazing.
If she’s worth it, you won’t give up.
If you give up, you’re not worthy.
We’ve all crossed women like this at some point in our lives. As we experience life and make new connections, it’s easy to fall directly into the arms of someone convenient. Let’s be honest, we live in a day and age where everything is so easily available…why work hard for something if we really don’t have to? Take the shortcut, go the easy route…get to where you need to be faster. Little do we notice that we treat some relationships like destinations. We’ll go the way that is most familiar and comfortable because it’s what we know; it’s EASY.
But if a person is EASY and so quickly to fall into, what does that say about not only her, but yourself? It’s like that saying goes…nothing worth having, EVER comes easy.
So this brings me to the other option; striving towards someone who is worth the work. Now most of us truly do enjoy the thrill of the chase. I’m guilty of that myself. The excitement of not really knowing and the high of bagging the unbaggable. Please do not confuse the two, as they are completely different things.
When it comes to fighting for someone who is worth it, you are fully committing to a connection that goes far and beyond what anyone else can understand, fighting for a dream that nobody sees but you. You’re willing to go against the odds, willing to fight against adversity. You fight because this person is worth it.
Every relationship will have speed bumps along the road, that cannot be denied, it must be accepted. As the quote closes with “If you give up, you’re not worthy…” this simply means, if you can’t handle the bumps and storms that come in your way, maybe you don’t deserve the AMAZING one…go back to that EASY road.
The other day Tapout released a new commercial. I watched it MANY times for two reasons; 1, I had some family cameo appearances and 2, the words that were spoken held a very powerful message.
In everyday life true fights materialize. No championships belts, no grand prize. Just a reason you rise and strive to overcome. It’s not about battles won, it’s what you stand for. It’s sacrificing your comfort and carrying on for a cause. It’s for self satisfaction and not the applause. It’s tearing down walls, it’s what you exercise you might for. We should all have something we fight for,and my fight matters. Does yours?
Life is a beautiful struggle. I believe that the struggle and fight that we all endure is what defines our character. If we went through life never experiencing trials and tribulations we would never learn. In order to experience life, you have to be willing to put things at risk; allow yourself to be vulnerable, taking that chance to be wrong. Now I’m not saying go out and make a billion mistakes or pick a fight. The main point of this spoken word is to recognize that we will be presented with choices and sticky situations everyday. Some may not be as difficult as others and maybe there will be days where we aren’t challenged at all. No matter what the fight or situation, the outcome, whether you win or lose matters. It’s standing tall after all is said and done.
This commercial doesn’t only apply to those who choose to fight inside the ring and cage. All of us have some kind of fight in life and OUR FIGHT MATTERS.
Life is a fight…life is a struggle. So make it count and make it beautiful.
(Source: fack3ry, via shmorgsisbored)
